I wish I could say anything notable or newsworthy has happened during this miniature hiatus from writing these, but nothing really has. I am still neck-deep in my job search, so if any of my readers have any connections, anything would help at this point! This process is not fun. The music industry is competitive and getting a job is often a result of who you know and being in the right place at the right time—otherwise known as luck. It is difficult to even speak to a human before you are rejected, which is the most frustrating aspect for me. I have recorded one-sided interviews and I am sure applications have been filtered out by whichever AI software large companies use to scan for employment buzzwords. Nonetheless, I am confident my knowledge and passion will shine through and position me well for filling whichever job I apply for once I get face-to-face with someone. However, I am fortunate because I have the tools to stay sane and level-headed in this process. I have learned to handle rejection well and I have confidence that my services and personality would contribute to a company’s success and positive work environment.
It is also comforting to know that I truly am trying my best and doing my part. I sit at my computer applying for jobs, tweaking cover letters, emailing contacts or anyone I semi-know to try and weasel my way in and cut through the noise. Now, it is about getting lucky or having something turn my way that is out of my control. Ultimately, it is a process with lessons that I am glad I am learning as I am in this transitional period in my life. Waiting has always been a difficult thing for me to do. Georgia will say that is the “east coast” in me, and perhaps it is, but this process has taught me the virtue of patience and being grounded in situations where the most you can do is hope for the best. As I get older, I am beginning to realize that the fear that drives anxiety and discomfort comes from having no idea what you are doing. I try to keep my ear to the ground and unpack life’s intrinsic bullshit for an opportunity to learn and grow. And ask questions. Questions come with answers and answers come with knowledge… at least sometimes.
Enough about jobs. I do not even want to talk about it anymore. It is similar to when I was applying to schools and that was the hot topic on every adult I interacted with’s mind. I am going to talk about my music. For the first time, I sent my album around before it is released looking for feedback and thoughts and seeing if my opinion about it is justified. I am confident about this album as I am everything I make because I have to be. I tell a lot of people that the number one thing that one must have in order to have any form of success in songwriting (which could be emotional reward and pride) and making records is an unwavering belief in oneself. As a music snob and overanalyzer, lack of confidence comes off clear as day in an artist’s music to me. I will speak a lot more about songwriting later in this piece. For now, understand that I wanted my confidence to be checked. I can say that it has been, and the people who have listened have told me that songwriting and lyricism are the appeal of my songs. That makes me happy. I also loved the criticism which has sort of been pretty unanimous as well. I have been told to give riskier and gutsier vocal performances. Phoebe Bridgers has brought an apathetic vocal style to the forefront, as she can deliver such a deep and emotional set of lyrics in a numb way creating a haunting irony. It totally works for her and other singer-songwriters before her like Elliott Smith, Sufjan Stevens, and James Mercer of The Shins. I think trying to distance myself from the behemoth that is (my biggest musical influence) Bruce Springsteen’s impassioned vocal delivery, and listening to so much singer-songwriter music as I wrote and recorded the album, I may have fallen a bit flat. However, I know that live I usually give more punkish or rough vocals that people seem to identify with and evidently, look for in my recorded work. That is a note moving forward. I am excited to put this thing out and it is going to be really soon. I promise. It will be soon. I need deadlines if I am going to market and advertise this thing the way it deserves to be. That deadline is a release date that I have to work hard to meet. That is the only way I think I set myself up for success at this point. That is how I work, and there really is not anything wrong with that, unless I do not realize it, but I have, so I think we are good.
Grateful Eight
I am probably the 100th person in the last month who will tell you to watch The Bear but watch The Bear. A few of my favorite TV shows like Barry and Better Call Saul have ended recently and this Hulu show has more than filled the void. It is a brilliant character study and a realistic peek into a kitchen environment with all of its glorious chaos. I am grateful for The Bear. It is awesome.
I am thankful for Geese’s new album, 3D Cowboy. It is such a great rock record and the best one I have heard in a while. As I mentioned, I listen to a lot of singer-songwriter music which can often rock hard, but this feels like a band the way The Velvet Underground, Television, and The Rolling Stones feel like a band. People who say that rock bands are dying are quite frankly, morons. I heard someone say that Arctic Monkeys are the last great guitar band, and I want to know what the hell they are smoking. Forget that Arctic Monkeys’ discography is… let’s face it, not so good (I adore their first album but virtually nothing else). The Arctic Monkeys have not made a true rock record in like 10 years. It is almost irrelevant though because obviously there are incredible guitar bands, you just need to look harder; and younger.
Vegan ice cream. Vegan ice cream is a staple now at most ice cream shops, which is a dream come true given my dairy allergy. A random shop in Syracuse had vegan strawberry ice cream. I got that baby in a cone and enjoyed the hell out of it. It is nice to see.
I guess that this is a little less of a gratitude list and a little more of a list of things I like, but I will add the Quarterback series on Netflix. It is incredible and follows Patrick Mahomes, Kirk Cousins, and Marcus Mariota on the football field, working out and studying the playbook and film, plus their off-the-field lives. It is really cool, so I recommend it.
I am grateful for our Peloton bike. It is so easy for me to hop on and do a Sam Yo class. It is cardio that I actually enjoy for once. Exercising’s effect on mental health is almost as rewarding as its effect on physical health. I am trying to get in good shape after shaking many of the choices I made in college that were not so kind to my body and mind.
HENRY’S GOTCHA DAY! We took him home three years ago today. He is our sweet boy.
I am grateful that I started this newsletter because it really has been a good talking point/something to mention in job applications. Writing skills are always necessary for the type of jobs I am applying to and it is good to mention that I am actively writing even if it is just personal narrative.
Bruce’s large discography. I am reviewing all of his albums as I have ranked them from worst to best. There are a lot of them which keep me busy and cure some boredom. I am writing all of the reviews on Breaker’s Point and they send to your email like all of my regular newsletters. Please read it because I worked so hard on these. Please share with any Bruce fans you know.
This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: The Universe (Wilco)
I believe I have written about this song here, but I finally worked up the courage to cover it. I was actually nervous when I was recording this. Once I learned the song, it took me several tries to make a recording that I felt was good enough to share with you all. It is actually a song that I thought about covering before, but ultimately, decided not to because I believed I could not match the weight of the original version. It is like covering “Yesterday” or “In My Life.” You should not do it. It is perfect the way it is, and simple at that. It is hard to make it your own and add anything new and interesting to it. However, I did want to share my version of the song because I love covering songs I love. When I played this song, I began to understand it on a deeper level both musically and lyrically. It taps into a universal curiosity among human beings who wonder just what we are doing here and why we exist. It is about a quest for answers beyond the ones that the beauty of art can give. These answers will never be factual or objective or straightforward, but it does not matter. We are here. That is all we know. At least, that is my interpretation of it.
This song is a piece of ingenious songwriting, and I will tell you why. It is simple both musically and lyrically which makes it immediate. However, although the lyrics are simple and ‘said plain’ if you will, Jeff lets you fill in the blanks. By writing this way, you open a song up to longevity, especially when it comes to the universe: a theme that will always contain more questions than answers. However, this is not to be misconstrued as lazy songwriting. There are not many lyrics in “The Universe” and they do not say a whole lot other than framing the question of ‘what is this?’ and ‘why are we here?’ through Jeff’s perspective. That is it. Yet, you feel the intensity in just the way Jeff strums his acoustic guitar on this song. Thought and emotion went into it, and this was the result of that. Keep it simple stupid is a great motto, but any empathetic person on this Earth can distinguish between simplicity and laziness. You either believe the songwriter or you don’t. If you are reading this, you might be thinking I am overanalyzing or that you cannot tell whether a piece of art is tastefully simple or lazy, but you can. It is just whether or not, you care and when it comes to music, many people do not. That is totally fine because everyone consumes art for a different purpose and in a different way. Music just happens to be MY life. There is a reason for the cliché of ‘be yourself’. When you are not being yourself or diving deep within yourself to express a feeling, it is obvious. Jeff Tweedy is being Jeff Tweedy in this song.
I do not want to necessarily put other artists down, but I always scoff when artists implement an enormous and obnoxious marketing and promotion campaign for just two and a half minutes of music. A songwriter does a disservice to their song if they place it on any sort of pedestal. Albums are different to me just because of the way I usually write. For me, a song is a color as an album is a painting. That is my personal opinion, which I totally think many people will disagree with. That is okay. I just wanted to say that because it is a testament to what an incredible (forget songwriter) craftsman Jeff Tweedy is. This song is smack-dab in the middle of a 21-song album. Many people will never hear it, even if they are familiar with Wilco, and Jeff is okay with that. I don’t know why I find that so incredibly cool and romantic, but it really moves me. It is definitely a little song not to be compared to epics like “Ashes of American Flags” or “Spiders (Kidsmoke)” or “Art of Almost”, but it is a masterpiece and for Jeff, just another day on the job.
Don’t forget to keep your eyes peeled for my Bruce reviews. Since I went on and on about this song, I will provide the lyrics which I usually do not do for covers.
“The Universe”
Talk to me
I don't want to hear poetry
Say it plain
Like how you really speak
The universe
For what it's worth
Everything is listening
For what it means
Spit it out, every doubt
Poison flower
We can all agree
The universe
For better or worse
It's the only place
To be
I'm serious
I don't really care, I'm serious
I don't really care about it
About a single thing
But everything is listening
For what it means
Everything is listening
For what it means
So talk to me
I don't want to hear poetry
Just say it plain
Like how you really speak
The universe
Could be worse
It's the only place
There is to be
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